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19 August 2008 @ 03:59 am
[fic] untitled... bunny... fic. gen, AU, crossover-ish, no really.  
let this be known as "that KHR/Watership Down sort-of-crossover AU fic (of doom. OF DOOM) where everyone's a rabbit."

uh...

if you decide to read this fic in spite of the wtf!AU warning, i hope you'll forgive if this seems a bit graceless: this was the result of a thoughtdump sparked by kye_kestrel and izkariote, who innocently pointed out that an angry tsuna would be an ANGRY LITTLE RABBIT... and from there, the conversation kind of devolved into which rabbit types the vongola guardians resembled.

i'm sure we've all thought of puppies and kittens and assigned breeds to them etc, but i asked myself, HOW ABOUT BUNNIES? and then i wrote this fic. i believe it qualifies as crack, though the theme is slightly serious.

yet more disclaimer: i'm no expert on rabbits. i've never kept rabbits as pets. we did keep a couple of guinea pigs for a time, but i seriously doubt that counts. most of my info here was taken from online sources. i've also borrowed a few terms from Richard Adams' excellent novel because i'd rather not invent them if someone already has.









Reborn had tried to explain it to him many times, but it wasn't until danger was actually upon the warren that Tenth finally understood.

Tenth, the runt of his litter (and ironically its only survivor), was descended from a long line of Chief Rabbits who wielded a hidden power - one that other powerful rabbits coveted. A group of mad rabbits calling themselves the Varia, led by a heavily scarred buck calling himself Xanxus, was the most recent threat; they had raided the Conigli warren in search of Tenth, and if Tenth and his six companions had not fought them head-on and driven them off, they would have destroyed the entire warren in their rampage.

It was only then that Tenth admitted, aloud and to himself:

"We've got to get away from here. We've got to draw danger away from the Conigli warren."

Tenth's companions looked at him. Grasswig started to scratch behind his ear.

"More than that," the rabbit kitten named Reborn said, "you all need to join your true clan. You don't belong here anymore. Your strength will only attract more enemies. Will I need to repeat myself like this until the entire Conigli warren is destroyed?"

Tenth stared at the mysterious rabbit kitten who spoke like an old rabbit, and repeated himself often, using words that Tenth barely understood - words like "dying will," "strong bloodline," and "Vongole family."

When the kitten first came to Conigli, he said he was there to help Tenth become the next Chief Rabbit of the far-off seaside warren whence he came. Then he started to say that Tenth needed to build a "family," a group of allies who would protect him from danger, while he trained to become Chief.

Tenth did not heed this, at first. He, a Chief Rabbit? - It was a laughable idea. And it came from the lips of a baby, to boot!

As a result of his poor condition at birth, Tenth was sickly, weak-limbed and slow to grow; childhood friends like From-the-Mountain and Grasswig towered over him. Even Falconer was bigger than Tenth was, and Falconer was not big at all by Conigli standards.

But as time went by, more and more strange and dangerous things started happening to Tenth and the ones he kept close to him. He saw the need to have a "family," although the "family" that Reborn chose for him was... scary, to say the least. Sometimes it seemed like Tenth faced more danger from his own "family" than from the elements that threatened them.

"We should listen to Reborn, Tenth," Falconer said respectfully. "None of us really belong in the Conigli warren. I know you'll miss your mother and friends... but if you want to protect them, you have to make this sacrifice."

"Don't worry," From-the-Mountain assured him, "we'll be all right! As long as we're all together, nothing too bad will happen." Falconer shot From-the-Mountain a glare, which slid right by the big and clueless. The glare said he wasn't entitled to say cool things like that in Tenth's presence.

"It'll be EXTREME!" Grasswig cried. "We'll take that trip like the baby said and we'll join that other warren and we won't have to worry about the Conigli getting attacked anymore!"

"Vongole," Reborn reminded Grasswig. "That's the name of the other warren. That'll be the name of your new warren, when you get there."

"Hmph. If this is a waste of my time," said Skylark, "I'll bite you all to death. Starting with you." He cast Tenth a look that made him cower just a little bit, and made Falconer bare his teeth a little bit - even if compared to Skylark, his teeth were tiny and not threatening at all.

"Kufufufu," laughed Six Paths,"this might be interesting." And when the scarred, pitch-black rabbit with dark blue eyes turned toward Tenth, the latter imagined that one eye caught the light and turned another color - was it red?

Tenth studied the "family" he was supposed to bring with him out of his home warren. Besides the bored black-and-tan kitten named Horned Head, who was deeply absorbed in playing with the tails of the adults around him, everyone looked eager to go - even From-the-Mountain, who had many family and friends among the Conigli, was excited, ears up and turning this way and that. Grasswig was jumping around, warming up his hind legs for what he was already imagining to be a long journey.

Falconer was excited as well, Tenth could tell, even if the silver-haired buck crouched low to the ground and brooded - his nose twitched slightly faster, which meant his mind was busy. The mystical Six Paths' tail flicked at times, even if the rest of him was motionless.

And of course, Skylark was ready for a fight and an adventure. He didn't need to move at all, for Tenth to feel his anticipation.

Tenth felt like he was the only one who was afraid to leave. He had lived all his life here, had never learned how big the world could get. Reborn's stories about "the Vongole warren" and the dangers that Tenth should expect, as someone training to be the Chief Rabbit of the Vongole, only ever frightened him. He was not certain he was ready to venture so far from home, into so much chaos.

But just as Tenth was losing himself in his fear, getting ready to bolt back to the cozy burrow he shared with his mother, Reborn hopped up to him. The rabbit kitten with ancient, sheenless black eyes spared a few comforting words:

"You needn't worry about them. They'll protect you. Already you are their Chief, and they are your Owsla1."


***


The first member of Tenth's family, Reborn decided, was Falconer. He had another name before this, which he would not tell anyone. But this was not just any name he had picked out for himself: he had won it, by proving once that he was intelligent enough to outwit the natural predators of rabbits: the falcons, lords of the sky.

Falconer was a rabbit from a distant warren - though he had abandoned his own family, and become a Hlessi2 for a while. He had traveled far and wide, and had come to settle in Tenth's warren because Tenth had saved his life. No one but the two of them (and Reborn, of course) knew exactly how Tenth had saved his life... but if the rumors were to be believed, it involved traps, youthful stupidity, and a vow made for life.

The silver-haired buck knew much about the world; he could get impatient sometimes, perhaps because he could see farther and clearer than many other rabbits. However, he was still young, and therefore his vision was limited by default. He saw danger where there was none. He also thought every other rabbit was out to harm or trick Tenth, or else steal him away. His nervous energy was something the Vongola warren could use, Reborn said, even if he needed to be slapped upside the head sometimes.



Black-haired From-the-Mountain was the second family member: a lean, strong warrior rabbit from an old, old line of lean, strong warrior rabbits. Like his father (who was also named From-the-Mountain) and his father's father before him (who was also named From-the-Mountain) he became a member of the Conigli Owsla at a tender age. He didn't know the importance of this at the time, believing the whole "Owsla thing" was a game. He even thought that the whole idea of joining the Vongole warren was a game. Tenth sometimes wondered if this was just because he was playful by nature, or if things like this just really went over his head.

He tended not to look before leaping, and therefore tended to run into walls and earn Falconer's disdain. From-the-Mountain was, however, a very loyal friend to Tenth. His natural agreeableness also attracted other rabbits and helpful creatures. For these, and for many other good traits, he was especially favored by Reborn.



The third family member was the snow-white Grasswig. Like From-the-Mountain, he was friendly and large. He also happened to be loud, as far as rabbits went.

He was not especially strong, but he healed quickly, and he was surprisingly skilled at healing other rabbits quickly as well. This was a good thing because the one thing Grasswig loved doing the most was playing rough with other bucks. Indeed, he had even lost some of his teeth while playing at what he called "EXTREME BOXING" - trading blows with front paws, which was his favorite fighting style.

His impetuousness did not please his younger sister, whom Tenth adored. Though she loved her older brother, even she sometimes threw her dainty front paws up and sighed, What can you do.




The fourth family member was... probably not a family member at all, Tenth suspected. Like Falconer, Horned Head came from a faraway warren, having followed Reborn to where the Conigli lived. He was still only a kitten - prone to crying a lot and burrowing holes and hiding in them when he was feeling threatened. Falconer disliked children and thought this particular child was full of Hraka3.

However, whenever he burrowed holes, something strange happened to the furry black-and-tan kitten. He jumped out of them somehow larger, older, and fiercer than the weakling he usually was. He drove enemies away or attacked by charging them with his head down - a highly unusual and somewhat suicidal thing for a rabbit to do.

From-the-Mountain had joked that this must be where Horned Head got his name - from charging like a bull, even if he didn't really have any horns.

But after the enemies had been defeated, Horned Head would dig another hole and jump in it, and when he would jump out he would be back to his tiny, crybaby self. Reborn had tried to explain this mysterious fighting technique to Tenth, but it still seemed too weird to be true.




The fifth family member was Skylark: a scruffy black-and-white buck, small but fast-moving. He was known for taking down large rabbits (sometimes more than two at a time) with his teeth and claws alone. And what sharp teeth and claws he had!

Born to fight, Skylark would not be accepted by any warren. Neither did he seek to be accepted by any warren. He traveled, gathering information and challenging every rabbit he came across who seemed stronger than he was, and was Hlessi until he wandered into Conigli grounds and met Reborn.

Reborn had promised Skylark that if he became a member of the "Vongole family," he would be able to fight as many strong rabbits as he wanted. Normally Skylark would not heed such things, but he had kept his ears open, and he had heard much of Reborn and this "Vongole" he spoke of. He knew that being part of the Vongole warren meant being strong, and being attacked for being strong. So he decided to linger around Tenth, and come to Tenth's aid, as needed... though he still went his own way most of the time.




Six Paths, the final member of Tenth's new family, was an enigma. He had come to Conigli first as an enemy - someone who wanted the power that Tenth had not yet unlocked. Six Paths was a powerful rabbit gone mad, Tenth knew, but he was not simply that: he was a crafty fighter. His trickery worked best in dark or misty places, where even Elil4 with keen senses - such as foxes or hunting dogs - could be lured into his traps.

He was especially good at disguises; sometimes Tenth thought he was another rabbit altogether. More than once, he even thought Six Paths was... a girl. An especially shy, comely, quiet girl, hovering around Tenth and acting, speaking, smelling as if she liked him. But Tenth knew that if he ever let on, he would be on the receiving end of the black rabbit's belittling "kufufu" laugh - if not something worse. And maybe he'd earn a slap upside the head from Reborn, too, so he didn't bother.

While defeating Six Paths, Tenth uncovered his own hidden strengths. In that way, Tenth was grateful to him. But he had deeply scarred the black rabbit also, which led him to wonder why Six Paths decided to follow him and become his guardian, as Reborn had suggested. Tenth feared Six Paths, just as he stood in awe of Six Paths' talents.



This was his "family" - the rabbits Reborn had gathered to keep him safe, while he journeyed to claim his birthright as the Chief Rabbit of the legendary seaside clan of Vongole.

This was also the "family" that Tenth was tasked to keep safe as they ventured side by side into the unknown, danger hounding their tracks.







----------------------------------------

terms shamelessly lifted from Richard Adams' classic novel Watership Down:

1 Owsla - The strongest rabbits in a warren, the ruling clique.

2 Hlessi - A rabbit living above ground, without a regular hole or warren. A wandering rabbit, living in the open. (Plural, hlessil.)

3 Hraka - Droppings, excreta.

4 Elil - Enemies (of rabbits).

random info:

Warren - a network of burrows, made to house a family of rabbits; also used here to refer to the clan itself. the number of rabbits in a warren varies, could be anywhere from 4 to 20 or more.

Burrow - a hole where rabbits sleep. two or more rabbits may share a burrow. could also refer to the act of digging a hole ^^

Buck - a male rabbit. female rabbits are called "does," young rabbits "kittens."

name guide:

Tenth - GUESS. actually, one of the main characters in Watership Down is named Fiver, i just took my cue from that
Falconer - the "haya" in "gokudera hayato" means "falcon"
From-the-Mountain - what "yamamoto" means (although i hear "base of the mountain" is a better translation. is it?)
Horned Head - I WAS STUMPED, OKAY
Grasswig - in Watership Down, there's a warrior rabbit named Bigwig - i just adapted the name to the hairstyle.
Skylark - was pretty much a ready-made name...
Six Paths - my favorite. i want a black rabbit named Six Paths.
Reborn - i might actually have a reason for leaving this unchanged. if i'll continue this fic. which is highly unlikely :D~


special thanks to the RPLurk crew for the input and the photos and the crack in the first place YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE ♥♥
 
 
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baby, you're my forever girl: » the subtext is you。ficcentricity on August 18th, 2008 11:11 pm (UTC)
This is epic and adorable.♥♥♥ Grasswig especially! (Mental images of him being excitable and dealing out rabbit punches, eeeeee.)
Contradanza: gokudera is looking unusually tastymorphaileffect on August 18th, 2008 11:19 pm (UTC)
KAT! OMG HI! ahahah you caught me just as i was editing (you and kristel are really good at that XD;)

many thanks for reading - and thanks for friending me back omg ♥♥ i somehow can't shake the thought of grasswig wearing tiny boxing gloves XD XD
(no subject) - ficcentricity on August 18th, 2008 11:26 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - morphaileffect on August 18th, 2008 11:42 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ficcentricity on August 18th, 2008 11:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lonelybusiness on August 19th, 2008 04:39 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ficcentricity on August 19th, 2008 01:39 pm (UTC) (Expand)
groove: lufflesgroove on August 18th, 2008 11:30 pm (UTC)
OH GOD!! THIS IS HILARIOUS!! <3 <3 <3 X3 Fluffy Vongole bunny tails~~ *imagines pinching Tuna's tail! CHOU CUTE! >3<*

Funny though... "falconer" reminded me of this rabbit


Have you seen Damekko Doubutsu? ;3;
Contradanza: gokudera is looking unusually tastymorphaileffect on August 18th, 2008 11:48 pm (UTC)
HAHAH alas the tail-pinching (by other rabbits, as well as other noble creatures of the wild) does not occur until a later chapter. one that shall never be written, because i think i've exhausted my bunny!crack abilities for good XD;

not yet! who's this bunny? :O
(no subject) - groove on August 19th, 2008 11:25 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - morphaileffect on August 19th, 2008 06:57 pm (UTC) (Expand)
liquid poetry ♥: [misc] cuddlepilemlina on August 19th, 2008 12:08 am (UTC)
BhexBhexBhexBhexBhexBhexBhexBhex♥

OMG WATERSHIP DOWN REBORN!STYLE



*worshipsmish*
Contradanza: gokudera is looking unusually tastymorphaileffect on August 19th, 2008 06:59 pm (UTC)
WABBITS <3
noeynoeynoeynoeynoeyyyy ♥♥ omg yeah i have no idea XD;;;

*lovesmish*
Irene Floresbeanclam on August 19th, 2008 01:06 am (UTC)
EEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeEEE!!! Watership Down mafia bunnies *_*

This made me so ridiculously happy... I was grinning the whole time I was reading. SOCUTE.
Contradanza: gokudera is looking unusually tastymorphaileffect on August 19th, 2008 08:00 pm (UTC)
"watership down mafia bunnies" ahahahah perfectly put! i'm so happy the cute made you grin, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED ^______^
do not feed the animals: crystal nantoka.izkariote on August 19th, 2008 01:31 am (UTC)
I said this to ficcentricity already, but... READING THIS IS LIKE READING A CRACKED UP NORTH AMERICAN INDIAN LEGEND.

I DEMAND MORE PLZ. ♥♥♥
Contradanza: mukuro can bleed?!?morphaileffect on August 19th, 2008 08:07 pm (UTC)
hahahah (hopes the spirits of north american indian storytellers don't actually travel all the way here just to haunt me for this XD;;)

SORRY NO MOAR. ALL CRACKED OUT. angst tiem~
(no subject) - izkariote on August 20th, 2008 07:53 am (UTC) (Expand)
makeste: Oh boy! Sleep!makeste on August 19th, 2008 02:15 am (UTC)
Omg bunnies. D:

This was so cute. I love the names you came up with for all of them; they all sounded rabbitty (...?), but you could immediately tell who was who. Ryohei's was probably my favorite, because I love the "Lawn Head" reference. XD

I also liked your description of Bunny!Lambo's fighting style, and just... the idea of Hibari as a rabbit in general. A cute, deadly little rabbit. "Hmph. If this is a waste of my time," said Skylark, "I'll bite you all to death. Starting with you." He cast Tenth a look that made him cower just a little bit, and made Falconer bare his teeth a little bit - even if compared to Skylark, his teeth were tiny and not threatening at all. GRR GRR ANGRY FIGHTING RABBITS GRRRR.

I've never read Watership Down or seen either of the movie/TV adaptations. Now I kinda want to. This was so awesome.
Contradanza: gokudera is looking unusually tastymorphaileffect on August 19th, 2008 08:13 pm (UTC)
why D: at bunnies?? D:

CAGEMATCH XD XD (is shot) plz not to underestimate hibabunny, else he will nibble you dead.

oh man you must read the book. you must. i skimmed over it again recently (just for this fic. yeah XD;) and it's still one of the best books i've ever read. kicks the ass of most modern YA novels, and i'm not even sure it qualifies as YA, it's so bloody and dark :|
(no subject) - makeste on August 19th, 2008 09:19 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Walter and the Benjaminslonelybusiness on August 19th, 2008 03:29 am (UTC)
ARGH YOU'RE KILLING ME WITH THE KYOOT. ASDFHGJ;ASKLJGAL;SJFKL;AS ♥♥♥ Even your cracky AUs end up being amazing and gorgeous wryyyy

*rolls around with the rabbits*

I LOVE FROM-THE-MOUNTAIN AND SKYLARK MOST.

*puts them in the same cage*

*puts in Mukuro too just to fuck them up X3*
Contradanza: sanakirimorphaileffect on August 19th, 2008 08:23 pm (UTC)
*puts them in the same cage*

*puts in Mukuro too just to fuck them up X3*


oh look, bunny threesome XD XD (would be a threesome also if you put falconer, tenth and from-the-mountain in one cage. hell they probably already share one burrow :3)

*rolls around the vongole warren with you~*
.Yukeh. ( ̄‿ ̄)ノyukitsu on August 19th, 2008 03:33 am (UTC)
ask;djasdj HAHAHAHAHAHAHA GENIUS! ♥ askldjasdlask Grasswig. HORNED HEAD CRYBABY. asdhajldlada.
Contradanza: sanakirimorphaileffect on August 19th, 2008 08:26 pm (UTC)
GRASSWIG/HORNED HEAD CRYBABY OTP in a fic that is not to be written anytime soon X3 X3

i love the pic of ryoheibunny you chose, btw~ ♥ i told kat i would give him golden paws, but i'm not sure if that's a manly enough color.
(no subject) - yukitsu on August 20th, 2008 12:39 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
Contradanza: in the mood for love - smokesmorphaileffect on August 19th, 2008 08:35 pm (UTC)
I LOVE YOU TOO for taking the time to read! this is very much fail!fanwork of Watership Down, which is one of my all-time favorite titles - then again, as we all know, i corrupt what i love. (i am sort of hoping nobody who personally knows richard adams reads this. i don't know if he's the type who'll sue XD;;;)

THIS CLEARLY MEANS I MUST READ BRIDGE OF BIRDS NOW. thank you for the rec ♥
hweitongari on August 19th, 2008 11:56 am (UTC)
OH MY GOD LOVE

you totally make me want to read watership down againnn i miss the language and the mental imagery of drama amongst rabbits.

(also wth GRASSWIG LOVE)
Contradanza: 2046 - kimutaku whispersmorphaileffect on August 19th, 2008 08:41 pm (UTC)
that book was made to be reread! as opposed to, say, The Plague Dogs, which will kill you with heartache if read too many times T___T i keep reading the legend of the "prince with a thousand enemies" over and over, it's still one of the best bedtime stories ever~

EVERYBODY LOVES GRASSWIG! *gives him his own clan*
I am all implicationhalf_sleeping on August 19th, 2008 01:46 pm (UTC)
RABBITS.

&hearts

That is all. :D
Contradanza: 8069?morphaileffect on August 19th, 2008 08:48 pm (UTC)
rabbits! ♥♥ although fic about kittens and/or puppies would be cute too XD
bunniblubunniblu on August 19th, 2008 04:04 pm (UTC)
Haha!
Mafia!Rabbits!
When I first read Mukuro's name I thought it said six pack XD
Contradanza: gokudera is looking unusually tastymorphaileffect on August 19th, 2008 08:50 pm (UTC)
ahahah you're lucky~ i reread it again when my eyes were tired, and i read "sex pets" XD;;; <-- perv

♥♥ and what a fitting icon!
lyra_starlyra_star on August 19th, 2008 09:09 pm (UTC)
this is soooo cute, i think the tenth "tsuna" rabbit is the most adorable... but From-the-mountain? the names just cracked me up... especially grasswig!!! Hilarious!!!!!! ^^
Contradanza: gokudera is looking unusually tastymorphaileffect on August 20th, 2008 09:42 pm (UTC)
i'm glad you liked the names hahah i had to choose between "grasswig" and "lawn-head," and in the end i decided to be more faithful to the watership down style of naming names XD thank you for reading! ♥
pancake_pandapancake_panda on August 20th, 2008 05:25 am (UTC)
RABBITS <3
Oh lord, that was epic, and so adorable. Thank you so much. 8DDD

From-the-Mountain "tended to run into walls" AHAHAHAHA
Contradanza: 8069?morphaileffect on August 20th, 2008 09:46 pm (UTC)
Re: RABBITS <3
thank you for reading! and hahah yeahhh i just had to add that part about the walls, he's one of my favorite bunnies and i mock because i love XD
Krisceres_faorine on August 20th, 2008 08:19 am (UTC)
Reborn characters as bunnies?! So cute~! Loved the cute bunny pictures.
I thought the names suited them. LOL at Yama's name: From-the-mountain. And it's his dad's name too, and his dad's dad. Wow.
I remember the movie. I first watched it way back when. Then I watched it again accidentally last year. I loved it. I didn't know it was based on a novel though. Now I really want to find and buy the novel (when I have money again).
Anyways, thanks for writing and sharing this!!! Adorable...
Contradanza: in the mood for love - smokesmorphaileffect on August 20th, 2008 09:56 pm (UTC)
watership down is one book i love buying and then giving away to friends as gifts. the left hand of darkness is another (...wow, suddenly realizes she likes giving away books with rich mythological and sociological inventions :O). i hope you can find it in stores, or in your local library, at least :)

thank you for reading, and i'm glad you liked it ♥